Becoming a cat person

I suddenly found myself in desperate need of a cat.

I’m not a cat person. Nothing against felines, they just don’t do it for me.

I’m probably in the minority on this. More than 45 million American households have a cat as a pet. Cats remain one of the most popular online searches. A recent study even estimated that cat videos drive 15% of all internet traffic.

I can come up with a lot of ways to waste time. Watching a video of a cat is not one of them.

But you know what surpasses my indifference towards cats? My intense hatred, utter revulsion and (let’s be honest) white-knuckle fear of mice.

I grew up in the country. I work in the agriculture industry. I know I should not be such a sissy about something that weighs less than half an ounce. What can it do to me? Well, besides run up my leg — a thought that wakes me in a cold sweat some nights.

I’ve acted pretty foolishly at the sight of a mouse. Ran down hallways of office buildings. Stood on desks. Woke a sleeping baby with a terrified scream at the sight of the vermin.

When I was in high school, I was driving a tractor as my family loaded a wagon with tobacco to haul to the barn. A rat ran across the field, and I swerved in an attempt to drive over it. I can’t recall who was stacking tobacco on the wagon at that moment, but I know they lost their balance. Consequently, I lost my tractor-driving privileges.

I really must hand it to my husband. In 13 years of marriage, we never had a mouse in our house. His pest control record was stellar.

Until a day in October — a day that will live in infamy for my household –when I found signs of a mouse in our pantry.

The finding set in motion weeks of rodent reconnaissance. But despite trying every type of mouse trap on the market, the mouse — and my peace of mind — remain elusive.

So, I suddenly find myself desperately wanting a cat.

My friends, Rusty and Brandi graciously offered us a cat or two. (I’m learning a lot of people are gracious with cat relocation.) We’re going to take them up on it.

My daughters are thrilled. They’re currently working on a name for the new one. The current potentials are all over the board. Baxter, Tom, Oreo, O’Malley… Who knows where they’ll settle. I just hope Leo or Milo or whatever his name is gets down to business and does what cats are supposed to do.

And I’m not talking about making viral internet videos.

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